#11 | sinking into christmas

I am settling into the end of year Christmas mood very nicely, if I might say so myself. I have my playlist serving up festive music as I type.

As a child, Christmas was a time of family bonding (I'm agnostic) but there came a time where the cousins started feeling as if Christmas wasn't what it used to be. And that feeling has persisted for several years. I strongly suspect us growing up and away from our beloved childhood took a huge blow on our festive dynamics. It really do suck, feeling that void as we stare at each other in silence while we ponder over why Christmas feels so strange and distant and unfamiliar as the years go by.

Right now, in this moment, I feel full again, like I always did when I was younger around Christmas. Instead of easing into December, I was yanked right in, except everything around me is calm and the vortex is within me. Amidst the flurry of emotions, bubbling happiness is pretty central to my being right now, which I will gladly accept. What a pleasant surprise. The chilly air around this time of the year and the lack of school whatsoever are very very much appreciated right now. I'm always happier year end. With the exception of the 2013-2014 crossover, of course. Even that, I've learned to reconcile.

Have yourself a great December.

- fee.